Dilemma

Walking in the sunlight,

living in the dark.

Blind to those around him,

solitude his guide.

everything shows depression,

dark clothing, black sheets, dead palm in his studio.

Singing along with morose musicians,

Kid only comes out at night.

His job is on graveyard shift,

pours gas on the blaze.

Serious diagnosis Kid bares alone,

cannot see himself in the mirror.

Abuses substances to get relief,

from the abusive ghosts that haunt him.

Agreed to die with needle in arm,

nothing left anyway, nothing he created.

Hangs out with the hooded one on weekends,

asked for companions on this diving airplane.

Grim harvester has a sense of humor,

companions used and abused him like drugs they did..

Made a deal having withdrawals, while shaking and sweating,

would have signed anything for wellness.

Gave Kid the ability to call drugs to him, by will alone,

no need for employment or currency.

But the ability wasn’t constant and he resorted to sacrificing his dignity, integrity, and personal pride.

Kid couldn’t face it when it was happening,

lived in denial.

But those around knew, could see, and there was a vibe,

cheap motel rooms, never used the bed for sleep.

As long he had a substance in his veins,

Kid didn’t care what happened to him or anyone else.

And so he was used the worst way,

violated by a man in his sleep, sharing mortality.

Now grown past the ugliness of desperate days,

struck down by fate, physically, destroyed by residue, emotionally.

Kid wants to turn a corner, maybe even go back to the way it was,,

forgets signing on the dotted line for his essence.

Tries to retract the agreement,

doesn’t know if it’s possible to change path’s,

when you’re so far along.

Unable to go into the light of day due to the violation,

but looks through the window and associates with the day people.

Just assumes that he can change course,

if he can’t the cloud will form and the sparrows will arrive.

After all that hell, Kid still dabbles in darkness,

however minor, it is still darkness.

Kid tells those that care that he wants to live in the light,

but he doesn’t think he’ll make it and doesn’t think there’s enough time.

The shadow people are so familiar and don’t scare him anymore,

The shade has a mark in the grass the shape of his body.

Darkness is what Kid knows; he likes it,

not ever knowing what is coming because he can’t see two feet in front.

It’s an empty space, no light, nothing to hope for, only disappointment,

for nothing, just Kid’s existence.

The beatings received as a child still lash his back today,

only Kid is doing it to himself, doing the work of the one’s with no light, no love, no life anymore.

Kid likes to exist in the void,

he played there as a little boy,

but then he was dragged there by the Dark Master’s minion.

A man that was like a Lion, wanting to kill all offspring from previous male’s when he arrived, only he just put Kid through 12 years of torture.

Kid was shell shocked and went to the dark side because it promised instant relief from his pain.

Kid is at a crossroads, he knows the way to the light, has been there before,

but when he is completely honest he doesn’t think he can maintain being so bright.

The dark side always calls him like the ice cream truck to children,

when he hears, impulse says to go running.

Kid has not even seen all that the dark side has to offer,

but likes what he has already knows.

His late mother yearned for the light,

but unintentionally threw Kid into the darkness.

Kid’s sisters are all he has left and they live in the light,

refuse to speak to him if he is going to stay in the dark.

Kid’s best friend lives the light and begs him to join the club,

Kid enjoys his isolation with substances and emotional pain,

pain is his pleasure, trained to need pain as a boy.

Kid is sick, physically, terminal

Kid is sick, mentally, clinically

Kid needs to make a choice before one is made for him

The universe will throw him in any old hole,

Decide Kid, choose your poison.

Warm, inviting, comforting, LOVE or

Stern, course, grating, HATE.

you decide, Kid.